He disabled his match.com account in front of me
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
