ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
