No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
