Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She has the best kind of daddy issues
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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