We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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