It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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