i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize