Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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