Already got asked if we're dating
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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