Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
