I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
