Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
