I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize