Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
