I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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