Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
