my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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