all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
