People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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