She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
