Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
