i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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