literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
