Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
he had hair everywhere except his balls
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
