I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
