i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
