who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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