I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
