I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
