I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
