YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
