At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
