just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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