I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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