Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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