If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
