I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
