I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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