She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
