dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
