i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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