this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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