im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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