you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
