She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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