singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
