belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
