he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
