Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
