just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
