Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
