Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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