a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
