remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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