I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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