i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
