she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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