marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
