Can i not drive my cunt home
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
