I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize