can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
