I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
