I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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