Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
